I went to this hospice again today with Erin and we stayed with mom for a long time. Dad finally left and went to work out at the YMCA. Although he didn't want to leave, it was good for him to get out and move around a little bit, but he will be soar tomorrow. While we were there she got the hiccups and it was interesting. They were very loud. Erin mentioned to me that because she's paralyzed she can't control her tongue, so we have to be careful with her breathing. A couple times her tongue blocked her throat and she couldn't breathe. We just have to be careful.
The doctor says she's surprising everyone because she's still with us. Most in her condition would already be gone by now, so it shows that she's fighting. Although it won't change anything, its comforting to see how much Mom wants to stay with us. I don't want to sound morbid but I feel like it will be better for mom to leave us. She shouldn't be in pain anymore. Because I don't show my emotions much and many people think I don't care, I still do. Me wanting to free her has nothing to do with me not caring. I know I'll see her again, so I won't say goodbye now. I'll just say, see you later! Because I know I will.
Once I can afford it I am going to get a tattoo for mom. Still debating on the position but the picture above is what I am going to get. She took a lot of these years ago and she was really proud of herself for getting them. And here's the morbid again, but I'm going to put the date she dies below the tattoo. If Erin is up for it, I want her to put mom's birthday below her's. I hope she likes the idea and won't hate me for it.
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