Preview of Chapter One

Chapter One

The accident happened three years ago. Today is the “first day of the rest of my life”… the day I move into college.  Nothing has been the same since the accident, but I’m hoping that college will be a fresh start. Hopefully, my roommate won’t be crazy… or maybe she won’t happen to notice just how nuts I am.

“Brenna, give me a couple more boxes,” Dad grunted, swiping a hand through his graying hair. “Why does this building have to have so many damn stairs?”

“It’s not like I chose to live on the fourth floor of the dorm. And we could take the elevator, you know…” I blew my shaggy bangs out of my eyes as I hoisted a heavy box onto my shoulder.  Should have taken Mom up on that haircut…

“And wait for 30 minutes each trip? No thank you. Your mother is going to be enough of a basket case as it is. Helen! The door, please?” Dad yelled.

Mom quickly opened the door to reveal my tiny room, already crammed with a lot of junk.  Luckily my roommate hadn’t arrived yet, so stuffing the room with boxes wasn’t that big of a deal.  Since that was the last of everything in the car, I began the unpacking process and chose the bed on the right hand side of the room.

It took me a little over an hour even with my parent’s help, but all of my clothes were put away and my TV had been set up.  As soon as my mom let out a heavy sigh, I knew she was ready to leave. 

“Mom, you and Dad head on home.  I can finish all of this.” I told them.

A flicker of worry crossed her face. “It’s your first time living away from home.  Are you sure you’re going to be alright?’

“I’ll be fine Mom.  I’m sure I’ll feel homesick at some point, but you know me.  I’m a trooper.   Besides, you’re only two hours away.”

Dad came up beside Mom and nodded, “She’ll be great.  I’m sure Myst College will suit her just fine.  It’s a small school, what could happen in this sleepy little town?”

“Famous last words, hun.” Mom flashed me a smile and rolled her eyes away, in an attempt to hide her teary emotions.

Dad just shook his head and pulled out a small wad of bills, “Just so you’ll have some spare cash. Don’t spend it all on booze.”

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to remind Dad that he knew me better than that, but before I could, a blonde girl walked in.

“Are you Brenna?” she asked as she pulled her sunglasses off.

“Yeah, I guess you’re Erica?”  I noticed right away we wouldn’t be spending that much time together.  She was dressed in what was obviously top label clothing and she had that “California air” about her.  The bleach blonde hair and spray-tanned skin sealed the deal. She smacked her glossy pink lips together and surveyed the room with excitement in her blue eyes.

“Oh my god, how exciting is this?! I’ve finally met my roommate and I finally get to move out of my house!” She even bounced up and down at the end of her proclamation. My dad’s eyebrows climbed further into his hairline.

Just then a tall woman with red hair walked in, “Erica, you are far too loud.  I could hear you all the way down the hall.”  Erica just rolled her eyes and bounced out of the room to retrieve some of her belongings.  While our Moms began to chat, my Dad and I just exchanged looks.  This year was going to be interesting.

After a few minutes of eavesdropping into our mother’s conversation, I learned that Erica was easily excitable (not a huge surprise) and that she was, as I had guessed, originally from California.  Finally, everyone decided it was time to leave and allow the two college students to get to know each other.  However, it seemed as though Erica wanted me to know everything about her, and not the other way around.  I just pretended to listen and finish unpacking.  I’m pretty sure I saw her breathe only 6 times during her entire thirty minute information regurgitation.  I learned that when her dad died years ago, she and her mother inherited a ton of money that allowed them to move to a larger home in California and live what Erica called a “comfortable life”, which probably involved Ferraris and trips to Europe every few months.  Big surprise there.  She apparently wanted to come all the way to Virginia to get some freedom from her mom.  At home, she went out to clubs all the time, but she wanted to party without having to worry about her mom catching her.  I could see her priorities in life were extraordinarily healthy.

While Erica had barely made a dent in her unpacking, I had gotten everything out and completely set up.  My bed was made, clothes put away, desk set up, and the TV was all ready for watching with my PlayStation 3 attached.  I turned the TV on low as to not seem rude to Erica, but I was tired of hearing her talking.  I considered the possibility that she was actually a robot, programmed to keep talking until the nearest person smashed it to bits with a baseball bat. Testing my theory seemed both scientific and a service to mankind as a whole.

“Brenna!  Did you hear me?  I asked if you could help me and unpack a little bit!” Erica yelled while glaring at me, annoyed that I was beginning to ignore her.

Damn, and I was doing so well, “Yeah sure.  I’ll help you out.”

“Thanks.  Anyway, where are you from?  Is your family rich?  I saw your dad hand you some money.” Erica took some time to reapply her gloss as I ripped through some packing tape with a scissor blade.

“I’m from Richmond.  It’s about two hours away.  We aren’t rich but we are well off.  I’ve yet to see a panic over money in my house.” The box I had opened revealed way too many thongs in colors that should not exist in the visible spectrum. I quickly shoved the box in Erica’s direction.

She looked disappointed, “Oh, well that’s cool, I guess.”  She didn’t seem to know what else to say, which was fine with me.  Sadly, the blessed silence didn’t last long.  All of a sudden there was what sounded like an attack on the door.  More loud, orange-tanned people rushed in, making the already small room feel cramped and claustrophobic.  “Erica!  How was the trip?  Want to go to dinner in the dining hall?  It’ll be our first college meal!”  Another bleach blonde girl with a nose stud squealed as she jumped up to give Erica a hug.

She didn’t even hesitate, “It was a boring flight! My God, I didn’t even get a window seat. I’m so glad I’m finally here.  I’ll go with you guys, sure!”  As she was rushing out she stopped and looked back at me, “Brenna, did you want to come?”

No way would I be going anywhere with these two-dimensional Jersey Shore wanna-bes, “No, I need to finish some things here.  Thanks though.” I really had nothing to do, and Erica knew that very well. Her blue eyes hardened a touch as she closed the door behind her. Finally the room was quiet and I was alone.

After surfing channels for a while, I decided to take a walk.  Grabbing my iPhone, I locked the door and headed outside the tall brick dorm building.  Even though it was already early evening, there were still some freshmen moving in.  There were some who I recognized from my summer orientation group.  As I suspected, they steered clear of me.  I tend to make people uncomfortable.  People generally think that I’m apathetic or uninterested, but in reality I’m just very reserved and it’s hard for me to show emotions to people I barely know. And at this point, that category encompasses the Myst College in its entirety.  I sighed and continued my trek around campus. Leaving home was supposed to be exciting. A fresh start and all that crap.  I’m a freshman! I’m supposed to be excited and optimistic and completely naive. But I’m not.  It’s more difficult for me to leave home for far stranger reasons than one would expect. 

I had walked past every school building on campus by the time night fell.  I was going to head back to the dorms, but out of the corner of my eye, a small group of trees caught my attention.  It was only a short distance from my dorm building, so I decided to explore a little before it became too dark. I feel that area covered with nature calmed me down and restored some measure of peace to my broken life.  However, this particular wood was a bit strange.  And, of course, it was crawling with idiots looking for a place to smoke some weed.  As soon as they saw me, they took off, which I appreciated.  They probably thought I was an RA or something and I wasn’t about to tell them otherwise.

Further into the woods, I found a tree that was rather large for such a small wooded area.  I sat down against the tree and found that I had a fairly nice view of the campus from here.  Sighing, I curled up against the base of the gnarly old oak. To be here and away from home was a strange transition to make.  Although many people are attached to their family and home, it’s a little different for me.  I now live with a stranger, not only that but an damned annoying stranger, and I can’t do whatever I want to do at night anymore.  I tried applying for a single room, but I had to have a medical reason to be by myself. Couldn’t really explain my medical condition and have them believe me.

I wanted to sit a little longer, but I knew if I didn’t go back, the RA would start to look for me.  When I stood up, I felt it.  There was a reason I had come to this part of the woods, and it was now very clear.  My ears pricked, and my eyes scanned the small bunch of trees before I discovered the source of my discomfort. I’d have to come back later to investigate.  If it’s what I think it is, I can’t see it in the state I’m in.

Walking back to the dorm wasn’t bad.  Surprisingly enough, people tend to keep to themselves at night.  I assumed that was only because they were sober for the one and only time this year and haven’t started their drinking and partying yet. I have a feeling college is not going to restore my faith in humanity.  When I got back, I stopped at the door.  I put my ear up against it, trying to listen and see if Erica was back.  As soon as I was sure I didn’t hear anything I went inside and looked over at her side to see she had yet to do anything with her multitude of pink gucci suitcases.

After I managed to navigate the minefield Erica’s boxes had turned our small room into, I jumped on my neatly made bed. As soon as I rolled over to find the TV remote, a knock sounded on the door.

“Erica, you in there?” The masculine voice made me roll my eyes.  She’s only been here one day and already she has a boy to mess with. This was going to be a long year.

I carefully made my way across the room and opened the door a crack, “She’s not here,” I said hoping that would be enough to make this idiot leave me alone.

He seemed startled to see me instead of Erica, “Oh, um do you know where she is?”

“Nope.  When I got back she wasn’t here.” Go away.

“Do you mind if I wait a little bit to see if she shows up?”  He was stalling for time, I could tell. This was a problem that was not going away.

“Why don’t you just call her?” I snarled. This is ridiculous. I just want to put on my pajamas and watch The Food Network.

He shrugged, “I don’t have her number.  She hasn’t given it to me yet.  Come on, I’ll stay on her side and you won’t notice that I’m here.  I’ll only stay for thirty minutes and if she doesn’t show up by then, I’ll leave.” He grinned in what I’m sure he considered a charming manner, revealing a row of perfectly white teeth. His black hair flopped into his eyes, which he quickly flicked to the side as he waited for my response.

“Fine, whatever.  Do what you want.”  I opened the door wider and stalked back to my bed. I noticed he shut the door before going to sit on her computer chair.  That definitely did not make me comfortable.

“So, who are you?” His hazel eyes met mine as I attempted to go back to watching TV.

“Brenna.”  He doesn’t need to know anything.  I don’t like this.  Erica will hear it from me later that’s for sure. I crossed my arms over my chest and made another attempt to focus on the chefs cooking a meal in less than twenty minutes.

“Where are you from Brenna?”

“That, you don’t need to know.  You can stay here and wait for Erica, but I’m going to watch TV and you should too.”  Rude, but I just wanted to be alone.  He invaded my space too; though it’s partially my fault for even letting him wait for her. Probably not the smartest thing to do.

“You sure don’t play nice do you?  I’m just trying to make conversation.” His hazel eyes snapped in annoyance as he shifted in the chair, turning fully to face me.

“I don’t want to make conversation.  I’m tired and I just want to watch TV.” I flicked the volume up a few more bars.

All he did was grunt, but he finally turned his attention to the TV set.  I never looked at him until it was time for him to actually leave.  Erica never showed up, which was no surprise to me.  When I looked over at him for the first time, he locked eyes with me for a moment, nodded, then got up and left.  After the door slammed shut behind him, I grabbed my pajamas from the dresser drawer and padded my way into the hall bath.

After a lukewarm community bathroom shower, I walked back into the room to find Erica passed out on my bed. Of course. Where else?  Looking over at the clock I noticed it was already midnight, and she reeked of alcohol and smoke.  I decided to move her to her own bed.  I went through her boxes to find some sheets and put them on her bed. 

“Erica, come on.  Time to move to your own bed before you puke all over mine.” I poked her until she started to move.

She mumbled something I couldn’t make out and rolled over.  Great, she was going to be difficult about it.  Good thing I do pushups and she’s only 5’3.  I lifted her up, with a struggle but got her over onto her own bed.  She lifted her head and the look on her face was that of surprise.  I guess she didn’t want to move to her own bed because of no sheets.  She didn’t protest when I put her on them.  I grabbed a trashcan and put it near her head.

“If you feel sick, throw up in here.  It’s right beside your bed.  I’m going to sleep.”  I think she tried to say thanks, but I didn’t hear anything beside some muffled grunts.

It was no surprise that she had already gone partying.  Most freshmen were determined to go nuts since they were free of their parents.  Sometimes, it’s very obvious that I’m not like anybody else.  But it doesn’t matter – I can’t afford to be anyone but me.  Lying down, I prepared my body for the usual routine.  The same work I had undergone every night for the last three years. Focusing, I felt my consciousness loosening the ties from my body.  The one thing I hated about this process was that the spiritual form was naked.  Even though nobody can see me, it’s still unsettling.  Ever since that accident years ago, this is my version of sleeping.  My body rests, while my spirit leaves to wander the ‘ghostly realm.’  It was cool at first, but now it’s just annoying.  At least I’ve learned how to make some sort of clothing mentally so I don’t have to wander around the spiritual plain as naked as the day I was born.  After coming out of my body for a few minutes I’m able to create some sort of outfit, but so far I’ve only been able to make a black crop top with black pants.  Not much, but something.

I looked over and saw that Erica had thrown up a little bit.  It must have been when I was separating from my body.  I don’t notice anything in that moment -- I’m still working on that part.  Even though everything seemed to be exactly the same, it really wasn’t.  On the spiritual plain, I’m able to sense different things and see different things. It’s like someone snapped a fourth dimension into my vision, and everything comes into a sharper focus. My senses and reflexes are all heightened, and the darkness is no obstacle to my sight.  The spiritual plain itself was my playground. I’ve seen my fair share of spirits but most don’t like me very much.  When they figure out I’m actually alive, they get angry and don’t find it fair.  Some of the nastier ones respond to my perceived trespassing by attempting to become a personal poltergeist, but they always get bored of it. They are easy to ignore. The others simply ignore me. Even the spirits that live in my house back in Richmond won’t talk to me, though I’ve been trying for a while.

I decided my curiosity was taking over and I went to explore that strange pull I felt in the woods. While walking back it was easy to see which freshmen will be the troublemakers.  There were still a lot of kids out partying and smoking whatever they can get their hands on.  That lifestyle had not held much draw for me since the accident.  Perhaps if those kids died once, they might take life more seriously.  I wouldn’t suggest anyone taking that path, however. Not everyone is as “lucky” as I was.

Walking closer to the tree I had been at earlier, I noticed something.  I knew there was a force here, I just wasn’t sure what.  Looking in this form now I could clearly see what attracted me here.  In this world there are three plains of existence.  The two that are most commonly thought of are the plain of mortal existence, and the plain of spiritual existence. The other plain, the third plain, is closer to the plain we humans inhabit – so much so that sometimes other creatures can cross over.  I call them ‘fairies’ and ‘demons’ because I couldn’t think of a better description. I call their home plain the Fade.  That name has been used before in many different religions and myths, but it is a reality that humanity lives right alongside. 

I had never heard of it until the accident three years ago.  Technically, spirits cannot enter the third plain, but there are certain times when hidden doorways will open and they are allowed to enter the world for one night.  When it’s a full moon, the demons come through the doorways.  They tend to enjoy messing with humans subconsciously.  There have been many studies on humanity and the effects of the full moon making them go crazy or believe they are a werewolf or some other such nonsense.  It has nothing to do with the full moon, just with the demons that the full moon allows to escape.  At the end of the night, they are forced back through the doorways.  I’ve never seen one escape on any other day.

During the time of the half moon, and the new moon, the fairies are given leave to roam.  It’s thought that they bring good luck to people, but they really have no interest in humans.  They prefer to stay in nature or distract the animals that sense them.  Mischievous as they can be, they’re harmless.  I’ve only met a few of them, but they tend to steer clear of all humans and that includes their spirits.  Apparently we are nuisance to them.  Something about our frequencies not resonating on the right level that messes with their sense of direction.

There is no doubt about this tree though.  It was a gateway.  While on the spiritual plain, I’m able to see the different doorways wherever I tend to wander.  It’s normal to find trees anywhere, except in the city.  With so little trees in the city itself, the majority of the doorways are mainly in the parks, at least based on my limited ability to observe them.  However, I had only seen demon doorways.  The fairy doors were extremely hard to find.

The last full moon was only a week ago, so it should be peaceful for a while.  There should be a fairy gateway around here somewhere.  My theory was that the doorways were somehow connected, but again, I hadn’t seen one.  However, this tree seemed different.  There were markings on it that were unfamiliar to me.

I moved closer and raised my hand to touch a particularly interesting marking when a voice stopped me cold.

“I wouldn’t do that honey.”

Whirling quickly around, I saw an old woman, probably been dead for a while judging from her clothing. She looked kindly down at me through ethereal spectacles as she absently smoothed the folds of her long skirt.

“Why not?  It’s only a doorway,” I said raising my chin, causing my hair to fall & frame my face. I was sure that my brown eyes were snapping with defiance – I don’t take kindly to being told what to do, especially in the spiritual plain.

She shook her head, causing her ridiculously out of fashion hat to shift a little. “You are correct, my dear girl. But this one is different from its brothers that you have previously encountered. Shamans tend to wander these woods, and they have distorted this door for their own ends. These are their markings.” She gestured with one elegantly gloved hand towards the script I had attempted to touch moments before.

“I thought humans knew nothing about the Fade doors.  Besides, shamans only see spirits.  They can’t see what we see.” I uncrossed my arms, curious now. These so-called shamans could present great danger to me if I were discovered. Yet another complication to my situation.

The laugh she let out sent shivers up my spine, “Oh you are quite the young one, aren’t you?  If you’re going to abandon your body so carelessly, you should learn some more about the world you wander through. Do not assume your limited scope of experience gives you all the answers you seek.  Your lot is quite the arrogant bunch these days.” Despite her harsh tone, a smile crinkled the corners of her lips.

“How do you know I’m not dead?”

“So you do prove capable of questioning. Observe my body’s faint white glow. This means that I have died of old age, nice & neatly in my bed. A clean death, and an expected one.  You have no such glow, which means you haven’t yet died – at least permanently.  Only few know what these auras are for.  You aren’t the first to come around these woods and posses that particular ability. You are different, oddly enough, from your predecessor.”

“How is it different?”

Instead of answering my question she began to walk away began to disappear, smiling all the while. She raised one gloved hand in a wave before she faded away completely.

“Well, that was rude.  Wouldn’t anyone like to give me a clear answer for once?” I grumbled. This is what happened every time I spoke with a spirit.  They would talk for barely a minute then walk away.  They always seem to lose interest quickly. 

I was curious to see if this little seal actually worked, though.  Perhaps it was only a certain kind of human that could see it. If that’s true I would have thought that this topic would have been brought up somewhere in mythology, but I could not recall any occasion where I had seen it before in my extensive research.  Whatever the reason, this seal gave me a rotten feeling in my gut.  It messed with the grand design of checks and balances between the plains that were never meant to be changed.   If those demons couldn’t get out, and haven’t been able to get out for a while, I’m assuming they are pissed off about being cooped up for so long. I know I would be.

Looking up, I noticed the moon had moved pretty far in the sky so I decided it was time to head back.  Life would be so much easier if I were able to just go wherever I wanted like the other spirits did.  Since I’m still connected to my body, I can only go a certain distance without feeling the pull of my body.

Apparently some idiots were still partying.  I could still hear the bass of the music beating, and I could hear the potheads still collecting on the edge of the woods.  Sometimes it was interesting to walk through things, but walking through other people always gave me a headache.  Whenever I walked through one I would get a rush of their emotions.  It changed my mood so fast that I wouldn’t know what hit me.

Walking towards the group gathered on the outskirts of the forest, I noticed it was mostly a bunch of punk guys and a few trashy looking girls. Each and every one of them was your typical harmless hippie pothead.  None of them noticed or felt a change in the air, which meant my body was waking up.  Normally I send a chill through the air, but when my body is getting ready to wake up, I slowly leak back into it.  As I felt myself being taken back I looked toward campus to see the same guy who was in my room that night.  I didn’t care either way at first, until something struck my attention.  He was staring right at me.