Bully

There's this topic that's been popping up in articles and music videos lately.  The topic of bullying is appearing everywhere these days.  I'm glad it's finally being noticed as a huge problem these days, because when I was a kid, it felt like it was a forbidden topic.

I'm not going to pussy foot around or lie about this topic.  When I was in elementary school, I did the best I could to fit in with the "cool" kids.  That meant, being mean or cold to certain kids who weren't like them.  Too be honest, it was the only way I thought I was supposed to behave.  Every kid wants to fit in with their peers.  However, some never do.  When I entered middle school, everything changed.

As soon as I entered middle school, everything flipped.  I learned secrets and heard gossip I was never meant to hear.  Turned out I was being tricked the entire time.  Majority of my so called "friends" didn't want to be around me, or thought I was just annoying.  I'll admit there were times I tried to fit in again, but eventually I gave up and just tried to survive.

Everyone is just trying to fit in and live life day by day at that age.  The only problem is that a lot of those kids will bully others to make themselves either look better and/or feel better about themselves.  Bullying can give some kids a certain high.  They feel better after doing it...probably because they weren't the victims. They never think about the consequences.

When I was in the 6th and 7th grade, people teased me, isolated me, and even tore up my locker a time or two.  People even wrote about me in the bathroom.  When people bullied me, they wanted to mess with me mentally, not physically like some.  So, I won't pretend to understand those who were bullied physically (or by internet.  That's a new pathetic one chosen by bullies).

However, being bullied mentally is all a game to them.  If you show they have gotten you down, they win.  I'll admit, they thought they had won when they did those things to me. But once my parents noticed what was going on and moved me to a private school, everything changed.  I still distrust almost every person I know, however I do believe that some people can be kind and be your friend.  I decided not to live in the past.  I used my past pain to fuel me to create things and work for a better future and its still working.  I've already published a novel, and I'm working on the next three books.  Those bullies may have thought they have beaten me down, but I fought back.  I refused to give in to what they wanted.  Inner strength is a hard thing to come by, and an even harder thing to keep.  But once you find it, use it to your advantage.  Don't retaliate.  Just prove you're better than them.

To everyone: Don't turn into the bully to survive.  If you do that, you'll be no better then the kids you thought bullied you.  Ignore them.  Find friends who are true and only want the best for you.  And be the best friend you can be to them.  "Kill them with kindness" - so says my "other mother" :)

art by Lisa E. Dentz (google search)

Writing vs. Drawing

Ever since I started writing in high school, I stopped drawing for some reason.  It was like I could one do one creative outlet at a time.  Anyone else have this problem?  I used to draw all the time, and I had sketch books filled with (not good) drawings.  I'll admit my drawings weren't this good:

But I still enjoyed it.  Now that I'm a writer, I'm writing all the time, and I never draw!  I would love to create some "fan art" for my own novel, but I know it won't look good.  It takes some inspiration to write and draw!  I have a lot for writing!  Where can I find it for drawing?  Maybe one day I can at least draw this well again:

Anyone else have these problems?  Know how to solve them? haha